Lukas (This is Our Life Series Book 4) Read online

  One thing’s for certain, she drives me to the brink. Toppling us both over the ledge while holding on tightly to one another. Never letting go, because the alternative of being without each other is too difficult to accept.

  Whether she acknowledges it or not.

  Sage is the normal to my crazy.

  6

  Sage

  Sage-ism of the day—sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast—that’s right and breakfast was four hours ago. I’m hungry, frazzled and bewildered, sweetly wrapped up with a nice little pink bow. Sheesh. The current status of my life due to home and all things Lukas has me knocking on Crazy-land’s door. Did you hear that horn? One-way ticket to Wonderland, here I come.

  My plate runneth over with mounds upon mountains of horse manure, especially with the condition of things in Lakeview. I got a call at the crack of dawn from an old friend of the family, Police Chief Billy Stephens. To say I wasn’t elated to chat with him is a rather mild statement, considering the circumstances surrounding his call.

  His news broke another piece of string the little girl in me clung to. Someone shattered the sliding glass door, from the inside of my home, with a fucking bowling ball! The one I stored in the back of my bedroom closet. The same bowling ball I had totally forgotten I owned. The entire room is in shambles, a complete and utter loss of property. The pictures he sent me looked similar to a funnel cloud touching down for a millisecond, total obliteration. The perpetrator must have used the ball to destroy my personal belongings, because identifying the littered objects on the floor between the four walls in the room at first glance was tough.

  What if Pharaoh had been home? His instincts would have sent him into a frenzy and he would have attacked the burglar on the spot. The asshole might have killed him. Thank goodness he was at the veterinarian’s office. Jocelyn will pick him up and dog-sitting for me when they returned from the wedding. Thinking negative thoughts isn’t productive. My baby is safe and waiting for me to come home and pick him up.

  It was the last photo he sent that pushed all of my confidence out the window and sent my knees buckling. If I hadn’t been sitting down, I would’ve face-planted from the uncontrollable dizziness and shaking, a mighty redwood succumbing to Mother Nature’s wrath. Timber! I’m fallen and I can’t get up.

  The extremely mean words written on the wall. ‘Traitorous whore! Poisonous rose! By my thorn, you will perish.’

  I cringe trying to process the meaning behind the puzzling words. My first reaction is to crawl inside my safe room deep in the recesses of my mind where he can’t find me. No one can. I’m lost when I’m there, and safe. Forget that shit. I’m a fighter. I’m going to come out swinging, but first I need to figure out what it means.

  What is the messenger trying to tell me? Over time, somebody I have come in contact with has developed an unhealthy obsession to want to do bodily harm to me. You will perish? Not likely, asshole. I’m tougher than I look. Thank you very much! I bolster as much courage as possible.

  Sharing with my family is out of the question. Normally, I wouldn’t give it a second thought, but for some reason I’m waffling. Both Fallyn and Jocelyn have had their trip on the Crazy-land train. Plus, do I really want them upset? They would get their men involved: Keagan would demand 24/7 surveillance, and Ollie would require a live-in bodyguard. The gesture is kind but unnecessary. I’m not ready to cope with the direct changes that would be forced upon me. I can handle the situation by myself.

  Besides, it’s not the first message he’s left me. Why me? I’ve asked myself time and again. I take into account the uneasiness setting course in my thoughts. The idea of returning to the violated house makes me want to vomit. I’m nauseous, and I’m not sure why. Selling and moving faraway from Lakeview isn’t an option for me. It’s where I grew up, and most of my family is there. I won’t run. I’m made of stronger stuff, or so my grandma believes. The message is the same one I’ve been receiving, and I don’t have a clue as to why someone has targeted me.

  The break into my home is devastating, my sanctuary vandalized by an unknown. My home represented freedom. I didn’t accept help from my family or take money out of the trust fund set up at birth for me. I listened to the barbs and jokes for years living in a studio apartment, but I wanted to earn my own American Dream—not have it handed to me on a silver platter.

  Maybe I felt this way because of the stubbornness I inherited from my dad; I honestly can’t tell you. The one thing I do know is, the day the keys were placed in the palm of my hand, a sense of self-worth and accomplishment blanketed me. I had a home.

  I want to mourn the loss. My belongings can be replaced and I can start fresh.

  The police have no leads. I could have saved them the trouble, if they’d only asked. Same MO. No trace of entry or physical evidence on the premises and the same message. Even with the state-of-the-art security system Grandma had installed when Jocelyn had trouble with the Cabricci family, it didn’t register a blip on their screen.

  The perpetrator alludes the authorities and them. The chances of it occurring under the nose of Trident Security causes me to pause. It’s their specialty. They aren’t perfect, but when you live by yourself, you would hope to use the idea as a security blanket to comfort you at night.

  The fact is, it’s not likely my brain will shut off and forget it when I go back home. Another situation to deal with later on.

  “You sure you’re not up to something else?”

  “Nada. Just doing my duty. My Trident Security duty, ma’am,” Lukas easily side-steps the question.

  “Hmm. So, the heated argument I just witnessed between you and Shannon was nothing?”

  I’m not believing one word Lukas says. I was a curious bystander when he spoke to Shannon. Jolly Green wasn’t a happy camper; just the opposite. Lukas was upset about something Shannon was telling him, and I’m pretty sure I know exactly what crawled up his ass and died. I can add two plus two to equal four, and I bet my last dollar he was informed about the incident in Lakeview.

  It explains his elevated voice and rigid posture. Both screamed ‘Danger! Uncovered manhole up ahead.’

  He’s fighting the truth even as he rubs the day-old whiskers on his finely chiseled jaw. Damn, he’s absolutely stunning when he’s lost in thought.

  “Are you going to explain what that was all about with Shannon, or am I going to have to pull the answers from you, Lukas? My tactics might be a little unorthodox,”—I shrug—“but they get the job done.”

  Laughter erupts from him.

  “Many a man has tried and failed.” He returns the shrug. “You aren’t big enough, doc.”

  “I didn’t make it through pre-med with nothing, Jolly Green. This here”—I point to my puny, bulging biceps and say—“got many unconscious patients from one table to the next when needed. So, don’t diss these babies.”

  “Trust me, Sage. I’ve felt the power you wield. It’s all-consuming.”

  I pat the top of my thigh, uncomfortable with the meaning behind his words. Is it enough that I wish I could give him what he wants so badly? I do. I just don’t have what he’s searching for in me. Lukas deserves someone to cherish him not run circles around what he’s offering. Poor guy. He doomed himself when he set his sights on me. You would think after hitting your head up against a brick wall for so long, you would move on. Not Lukas. He’s a masochist.

  “C’mon, Luc. Give it up. What’s got your so riled up?” I goad and wait.

  He palms his chin and rubs. Uh-oh. Here it comes—bull spitter Lukas to the rescue. Knowledge is power, baby. Lukas is lying to me about Shannon. Tell-tale sign when he fidgets with his chin.

  “Just normal everyday run of the muck crunk stuff. Nothing you would find interesting, except maybe my delicious body.” He smirks. “Promise.”

  “Fine. If you wanna play, I’m game. Be that way. If you don’t want to share, I’ll let it go—for now.”

  “Aunt Sage. I’
ve been looking everywhere for you. I’ve been sending out a smoke stack SOS signal for the last thirty, geez.”

  “Ha-ha. Cute chick-a-roni. Drama queen, much?” I chuckle. “What’s caused your distress? Don’t keep me hanging here.”

  “I need some help fast! It’s Sassafras! Papa Bear & Momma didn’t warn me about the crap piles that little tiny puppy can leave behind. Sheesh. It’s everywhere. She’s made one heck of a mess on my bathroom floor, and the smell—don’t get me started on it. I felt the vomit coming the minute I got a good woof. Horrible! Oh, yeah. Looks like she’ll need a bath, too. Just saying.”

  “Is that all?” I smile. “Sounds to me like a job for super auntie. We’ll finish our conversation later, Lukas.”

  “Sure, we will. I’ll be looking forward to discussing the change in the ozone layer, Sage.”

  “Whatever. C’mon, hon. I’ll help ya clean it up and give you some pointers. You know I got As in school on the fine art of mopping.”

  “Gah, you and Mom both think I need lessons in cleaning. I don’t. I just want somebody to clean the poop up. I’m so not touching it—not even with a ten-foot pole. Ugh, so gross.”

  “Wonderful. I’ve been reduced to a glorified doggie pooper scooper.”

  “I’ll dub you the bestest aunt ever,” Harper jokes, “but seriously, nobody told me a six-week-old puppy could produce so much crap! Literally, the floor is covered.”

  “I’ve already got that title, right, squirt?”

  Harper giggles, placing her hands on her hips with her shoulders scrunched almost to her ears, a Fallyn-move if I ever encountered one.

  “Sure, Aunt Sage, whatever you say.”

  Hands in the air, she fakes a give-up signal. Her mannerisms remind me so much of Fallyn, it’s uncanny. She might not look anything like the Blackwood women, but she damn sure acts like one. The long raven hair and blue eyes she inherited from the sperm donor asshole (I refuse to acknowledge his name.) He stole so many priceless years away from me because of lust and greed. I detest him. I needed Fallyn, and she had to leave out of fear for us. I’m not sure if justice was served by his death or not, but who am I to say so. Fallyn is happy and I have my big sister back and a funny as hell niece to boot. The only good thing to come from him is walking directly in front of me down the lengthy hallway.

  We turn the corner and enter a beautifully decorated bedroom. Hanging in the corner from the ceiling is a colorful stained glass. Two large bears surround a smaller one. Ollie’s special gift to his newly-formed family.

  “I had hoped you were exaggerating, but you weren’t, were you. What an unbelievable mess!"

  "Told you so. It's so disgusting. I'll grab the mop if you can handle the uh, poop stuff."

  "On it," I say, turning to the cleaning supplies stacked in the corner. "Poor little girl. She's scared and frightened being away from her family."

  "I'm her family now," Harper stubbornly replies.

  "I didn't mean to imply otherwise, cupcake. It's still going to take time for her to adjust to her new surroundings. Kind of like it did when you moved here,” I carefully suggest, trying to connect on a level with her.

  "Oh, it wasn't hard at all. This is the first home I've ever had where I feel safe and I don't have to look over my shoulder all the time expecting the worst to show up, you know? I really love it here."

  My heart bleeds for her. She is so young and knowledgeable of the evildoers of the world, not carefree like normal teens her age. I don't know all that happened while her and Fallyn were on the run, but it's left a lasting impression on my precious niece. She's a survivor. I can only hope time and our love will help her forget the bad things.

  "Yeah. I grew up on a ranch surrounded by livestock and animals. I have a fondness for them as well. You develop a peaceful understanding; it's like coming home when you surround yourself with nature and animals."

  "I don't really have any friends around here yet. Susie is the closest friend I've ever had, and she's in Virginia. Momma said she could come visit this summer.”

  “That’ll be fun. Give yourself time, sugar. I imagine you'll make friends really easy when school starts back after the holidays."

  "It's been just me and Momma forever. I'm not too sure about going to a public school. Do you think she would agree to home schooling me again?"

  "Why? Your mother went and so did Aunt Jo and I. We survived the horrible cafeteria food.”

  She chuckles. “To be honest, I'm a little scared. I don’t know what to expect. What if nobody likes me? What if I fall flat on my face the first day of school? What if—"

  "Pish posh! Complete rubbish you're spouting there, doodle bug. I'm positive you're going to be just peachy. Remember, these are the best years of your life, or at least that what the song says.” I grin when a giggle escapes Harper's lips. "Success! I gotcha to laugh."

  "Yes." She clears her throat. "Who knew, right? I thought you were kind of a little too serious about everything, Aunt Sage. Wasn't sure you joked around like Uncle Lukas does."

  "Well, here's your sign."

  We both burst out laughing at my imitation of Fallyn’s go-to statement whenever she gets annoyed. When we quiet down a little, Harper looks at me with uncertainty plastered on her adorable face.

  "What's got you frowning now, jelly bean?"

  She cracks a tiny smile.

  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.”

  “Yeah? What about?”

  She opens her mouth to say something then closes it.

  “The grass is growing under my feet. Spill the beans.”

  “Promise you won’t tell Momma and Dad? This can be just between us?”

  Well, shit, just what I need; another secret to keep. I don’t want to let Harper down, but what if it’s something Fallyn and Ollie need to know? Maybe she’s not as happy here as she says and needs a shoulder to lean on. I’m sitting on the fence, torn because adulting sucks. Either way, I’m here and want to help her.

  “Okay, Harper. I’ll bite. This conversation will stay between us with the exception being, I won’t tell as long as it doesn’t hurt you. Does that work?”

  “It’s not like that. It’s girl stuff Momma would get Dad involved in, and he wouldn’t like it one bit.”

  “O-okay. Hit me.”

  “Do you believe someone can fall in love instantly and just know without a shadow of a doubt he’s the one you will spend the rest of your life with?” Harper asks me with a dreamy tone in her voice.

  "I…uh, well, I…um, truthfully, I'm not sure if I qualify as the best person to ask about love,” I murmur, bewildered.

  Jocelyn and Fallyn are in healthy relationships and are all goo-goo gaga over their men. Not me. I’ve chosen to stay away from commitment and the love thing. What the heck? She totally caught me off guard. I’m so not competent to be giving relationship advice to anyone, especially a hormonal teenager. The on-again-off-again messed-up pretend-romance Lukas and I have is the total opposite of what she’s thinking about.

  “Please, Aunt Sage, I need to know if it’s possible. You’re a doctor and you’ve traveled around the world. I’m sure you’ve seen people fall in love, right?”

  “Not sure how being a doctor relates, but yes, Harper, anything’s possible. I’m sure some people believe strongly in love at first sight. I don’t see why it couldn’t happen,” I answer, slightly annoyed.

  Perfect, Sage! Why can’t you fall in love with Lukas? For the simple fact it’s unlikely love will be making a grand appearance in my near future. Sure, Lukas is the closest any man has ever come to me thinking of the love word, but it wasn’t instant, or was it? The attraction was. He revved me up the moment our eyes connected in the pub. I wanted him with a burning desire.

  “You didn’t answer me. Is it because you don’t believe in love at first sight?” Harper pounces, relentless in her pursuit of the truth.

  I focus on Harper. “Honey, if you ask Aunt Jocelyn or your mom, I’m sure both would ag
ree it is true.” I pause, reminiscing to the first time I saw Lukas. The instant connection I felt. I wanted to know more about him. “Hmm. Maybe it’s possible. The jury’s still out for me,” I fancy out loud. “You just never know.”

  “I do,” Harper boldly promises.

  “Then you’ve won half the battle, munchkin. Sometimes I wish I had your assurance.”

  “It’s easy. Just believe.”

  “Too much water under that bridge. C’mon, pumpkin, we’re done here. Why don’t we take Sassy for a walk outside and then make some lunch?”

  “Cool. I wanted to try out the cute little coat and boots that came in the mail earlier,” Harper excitedly says, swooping the puppy into her arms. “I’ll meet you downstairs in a few.”

  She takes the wiggling puppy into the adjoining room, chattering about pink booties.

  “See ya downstairs,” I yell over my shoulder as I walk away.

  There’s a skip in my step as I hurry to find Lukas. I want to see the light sparkle in his eyes when I ask him if he believes in love at first sight. Apparently, Lukas was the bonafide playboy of the group before the ambush. He went through women like water runs through your fingers. A new one every night. I can’t wait to hear his theory on this one. Hmph. He’ll probably go bananas on me. Something like ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane.’

  He’s lounging in the media room, television blaring. He mutes it when he sees me standing in the doorway.

  “Poop disaster averted?” he questions, prowling slowly in my direction.

  “Yeah.” My voice hitches when I answer, the intent of his actions clear. He wants me. My heart is beating loud, anticipating his magical touch. My mission completely forgotten.

  “Good. We wouldn’t want a Harper meltdown on day one of our watch,” Lukas says, placing his body up against mine. He sniffs. “You smell lemony fresh, doc.”

  I barely catch his comment in my Lukas-induced coma, “I—what?”

  He nuzzles behind my ear, searching for his special spot.