Michael: A Scrooged Christmas Page 6

  The one and only constant right now is Holly. I keep asking myself, is she a rebound or more? Will she stay once Christmas is over? Do I want her to? Yes.

  The past few weeks spent with Holly have opened my eyes to what life is all about, to what I shoved aside, focusing on the uncontrollable, choosing to forget. Tonight marks the last memory she wishes to enjoy with me. Midnight mass at the Cathedral of Saint Thomas More.

  Overnight, Holly transformed my perspective. Guiding me back into the land of the living. Life doesn’t have to end for me. Not at all. It’s just the beginning, again. How I move forward from here is semantics. One step in front of the other.

  As we walk up the steps leading to the ornate church doors, hand in hand, I notice the large stained-glass windows glowing red and green, festive in respect for the holiday. It’s Christmas Eve, and the world appears a little more tolerable.

  My heart launches into a rhythmic beat, pounding loudly within my ears as we approach. It’s been years since I’ve set foot inside a church. I tug at my overcoat, as anxiety hovers in my stomach. Holly squeezes my hand, grounding me to the winter’s night.

  Briefly, I glimpse down. Her face is lit up with a sparkle in her golden eyes and aids to caress the worry inside. I lean in to kiss her glossy red lips.

  “Thank you, pixie.”

  “You’re welcome.” She grins from ear to ear, and the quivering subsides. The calmness ensues, and I’m grateful for Holly.

  We enter the cathedral, making our way to a pew in the middle aisle. As I take in the scene, the majestic pipe organ plays in the background as families, singles, and soldiers, people of all walks of life alike enter the church and find their seats. The festive celebration wrapping everyone up in its warm embrace.

  Once we’re seated, Holly reveals the true reason why she brought me here.

  Lightly, she places her delicate hand on my thigh, forming a link, and shares her explanation, “I was christened in this church. I’ve been coming here since… well, since I was in the womb,” she modestly whispers, a curve forming on her luscious mouth.

  And there it is. The carefree spirit that calls to my soul, which continues to unfurl freely from her, adding to my thirsty life force, secretly begging for more. More of Holly.

  “To me, it’s the most natural way to begin the most magical day of the year. Being here, in church, surrounded by fellow believers. It’s perfect.”

  The prelude melody ends, announcing the beginning of the service, and the entire church starts to hum with excitement as the celebration we’ve gathered to participate in proceeds.

  Sometime later, in the middle of the service, the back of my neck prickles, causing the hair to stand on end. The sensation of being watched floods my senses, and my eyes promptly sweep around the crowded church. Out of my peripheral view, I get a glimpse of someone staring. My head instinctively turns in the direction.

  The woman I met briefly in the park in Lakeview peers toward me affectionately. Her expression is full of approval as she lowers her head briefly. Holly’s soft touch on my leg pulls my concentration away for a split second. When I turn my attention back toward the older woman, she’s disappeared, vanished into thin air once again. Just like before.

  As the sermon comes to an end, parishioners form lines leading to the front stage to receive the sacraments, and we stand to leave.

  “Huh. I didn’t realize she went to church here. I’ve never seen her here before. Small world.” Holly shakes her head, clearly talking to herself and no one in particular.

  “What are you talking about? Or better yet, who are you talking about, pixie?”

  “Oh. My apologies, Michael. I met the sweetest grandmother lady the other day on my way to see you. She was impeccably dressed from head to toe. Even with her salt and pepper hair she was gorgeous. You could tell she comes from good breeding. I didn’t catch her name, though.” She appears perplexed, then shakes it off. “My heel got caught in the sidewalk. Stop.” Holly holds her hand up in front of my face. “Don’t say it. I already know what you’re thinking, mister. Mega klutz here.” Holly’s throaty laughter fills the area.

  “You said it this time, pixie. Not me.” I join along with her, but I’m left with the impression of déjà vu.

  “Well… anyway. She helped me up off the ground and told me to be more careful. The kindness in her voice reminded me of my mother.” The sadness in her tone tugs at my heart. “She also said to ‘spread the cheer, ladybug,’ which I found very appropriate, since I was on my way to return your jacket.”

  “She sounds like a smart lady.” My heart thumps faster. A drum line of percussions banging. Is it possible it’s the same woman? A guardian angel sent to guide me on the right path? A path that’s leading me to Holly?

  “I didn’t see her. Can you point her out for me? I’d really like to meet her. We have a lot in common, you know, helping out my little pixie klutz.” Holly attempts to swat at me, and I step aside just in time.

  “Har har, you. Very funny, Michael.” She looks to the front of the church in search of the woman in question. “I don’t see her. Maybe we missed her. I’m sure she’ll be around next time. You’ll just have to come with me again,” Holly sweetly offers, and we continue through the doors, exiting the Cathedral of Saint Thomas More.

  My mind whirls from the revelation of the journey I’ve been on the last few weeks. Struggling to move forward and letting go of the past in order to find the light I’ve been missing my whole life.

  I realize in this moment that even with Ella, I could never completely be myself. Sure, we shared companionship and I was in love with her. But analyzing our relationship now, I’ve come to the conclusion that I was in love with the idea of being in love. The feelings building inside of me for Holly, my little pixie, stretch beyond companionship and loyalty. It feels bigger, like so much… more.

  Much like an unexpected lightning storm that comes out of nowhere, I’m flooded with a new purpose. Life is full of surprises. Around every corner is a setback to pull us under into a dark place, or something or someone to lift us up higher than we’ve ever soared. I’ve learned it’s all about how we embrace those moments that define who we are. Sitting on the fence or wallowing in the muck, feeling sorry for yourself, is not where I want to be anymore.

  Fate brought Holly into my life again. I’m ready to cherish the gift and move forward. I will no longer take for granted the simple signs. I will gladly venture head on into everything life offers.

  Reaching out, I catch Holly off guard, sweeping her off her feet, hugging her tightly and swinging her around and around. Her neck is bent back, her face to the stars up above. Unreserved and uncaring where we are, she’s blissfully happy with my antics.

  Laughing, she responds in a choppy, silky voice from my spontaneous tussling and jostling, “Michael. What’s gotten into you? Not that I mind at all. But, crazy much?”

  “That’s just it, pixie. For the first time in a very long time, I feel great. No, more than great. I feel amazing. Like I’m on top of the world. Happy Birthday, Holly.”

  Holly’s expression brightens as recognition and understanding hit her. I settle her back onto her feet and gently kiss her soft, inviting lips. Paradise.

  When she comes up for air, I steadily and deeply gaze into her bewitching golden eyes.

  “Thank you, Holly. You’ve given me a reason for the season once more. As cliché as it may seem. A reason for being a part of this remarkable world we live in. I’m grateful we tumbled, legs, arms, and bodies, into each other.” Suppressing the laughter threatening to spill out from the look of complete denial on her part, I pull her closer into my arms and kiss the top of her head. Holding her delicately but securely. She fits perfectly against me.

  “Michael,” she utters my name reverently from her luscious mouth.

  She’s with me. Right here. Right now. Seizing the moment, making it ours, I’m catapulted into my next question by the need to keep her close to me now and in the fu
ture.

  “What are your plans for New Year’s, Holly?”

  “I haven’t thought about it yet. Why? What do you have in mind?”

  “How does New Year’s in the Big Apple sound?”

  Epilogue

  “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the past, present, and the future. The spirits of all three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.” ~ Charles Dickens

  Twinkling red and green lights encircle the vast main room of the armory. Holiday decorations are scattered around the large open space. Tables line the walls full of Christmas eats, treats, and goodies.

  In the far corner, Santa is set up, sitting atop his sleigh, greeting the awestruck innocent smiles and sparkling faces of the children lined up to sit on his lap and abide him with their Christmas wish.

  There was a time when I would’ve thought this was overkill. But today, I find that it’s absolutely perfect. Just like my life.

  Five years have passed since I’ve set foot in this little town of Lakeview. Five years ago, I walked away with a hardened heart because of Ella. Today, I’m a different man.

  Happiness and love drown my emotions as I glance down at the hand squeezing mine. My Holly. She graces me with her lovely impish expression, and I once again thank God for how blessed I am to have her.

  Literally slamming smack-dab into Holly again at the mall was like listening to a song for the first time, knowing it would be my favorite. She showed me how love can be when someone cares for another with a whole heart, not pieces and parts. It’s a miracle we bumped into each other, precisely what the doctor needed. And I’ll never let her go.

  My gaze travels around the room to the other families crowded inside. Couples with their children moving around with excitement from the festivities going on. My comrades from years of service in Afghanistan have all come together for a Christmas reunion. A coming together we all pledged to have every two years, just like our service contracts before we had to re-up. This time around, it’s in Lakeview.

  “Michael?” The tender voice comes from behind me, and I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see the woman I once loved. The woman from my past.

  For the first time, the twinge of heartache at seeing her doesn’t grip me.

  “Ella. Hello.” I watch as she darts her eyes to Grayson and shifts the small child in her arms.

  “Barnes,” Grayson addresses me and holds out his hand, extending a peace offering.

  I don’t hesitate. I shake his hand, overwhelmed by the feelings I thought would be present but are no longer there.

  “Captain Blackwood. Good to see you both.” I honestly feel the meaning behind my words. We all went through a great deal during our time of service in the Middle East. The camaraderie for other brothers-in-arms overshadows the angst and pain from that particular time.

  “Please, just Grayson,” he offers.

  “How have you been?” Ella regards my little fairy standing beside me, and I realize that I haven’t introduced her. Caught off guard seeing them.

  “Oh, where are my manners? This is my beautiful wife, Holly. Holly, these are Ella and Grayson Blackwood.”

  Holly’s slender hand reaches out to shake hands with Ella and then Grayson.

  “Nice to meet you both. I’ve heard so many stories.”

  “All good, I hope?” Ella nervously inquires.

  “Of course,” Holly remarks as she rubs her protruding belly that looks as if a torpedo has been inserted into her abdomen. One would never realize she’s pregnant from behind because of her small stature. The only place she’s gained weight is her stomach, where our baby is brewing.

  “Congratulations, Michael. We’re both so glad to see you happy.”

  “Thank you, Ella. Actually, it’s you I need to thank. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time.” I pause and collect my thoughts. “Because of you, I met my Holly. The best Christmas gift a man like me could’ve possibly wished for. I appreciate her and you for pushing me her way.”

  Ella and Grayson look at each other, bewildered by my comments. Then understanding dawns in Ella’s expression. The gentleness in her eyes informs me of her awareness. She always was a smart little cookie.

  She reaches out and wraps Holly up in a huge hug. It hits me like a ton of bricks. My life has come full circle as my face breaks out into a smile. The kind of smile that makes your cheeks hurt at the same time, because it’s so full of joy and happiness.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I notice an elaborately styled, grey-haired woman, and I turn in that direction to get a better view.

  Pivoting back, I regard Holly and Ella deep in conversation when I announce, “Can you excuse me for a moment? I’ll be right back.”

  “Sure, babe. Just hurry back. Bring me some Figgie pudding, too, will ya? I’ve got a major craving for some of that gooey goodness,” Holly asks in a hurry, and her cheeks turn a deep shade of pink. So beautiful.

  “Sure thing, pixie. I’ll be right back.” I lean over to capture her warm lips in a quick kiss.

  I make a beeline to the corner of the room where the older woman is standing, smiling and watching the merrymaking.

  “We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” I tell her and come to stand beside the beautiful grandma as I lean up against the wall, crossing my arms in a relaxed stance.

  “Well, now. If I weren’t a tough old cookie, you could give a woman a complex with that kinda comment, young man,” she playfully teases, and the creases at the sides of her eyes frame a merry twinkle, expressing the warmth and jest in her judgement.

  “Do you have family here? Or are you just wandering through?” I’m searching for an explanation of her whereabouts that have bugged me over the years.

  “Ah, you know me, I’m here or there, everywhere.” She glances up and winks mischievously. “It seems everything turned out just fine for you, Michael.” Her brow rises, indicating where Holly is chatting away with newfound friends.

  “That is correct. I never dreamed how happy I could be after Ella. Thanks for the friendly advice. It was just what I needed,” I reflect.

  “Ya see, I told you, once you let go and just lived, everything would fall into place. I’m glad you found your happily ever after, son. You deserved it.”

  “I appreciate that.” For a brief moment, I look at all my friends and family. The constant reminder that Christmas is a time of fellowship with the ones we love, as well as a time of forgiveness. I’ve learned so much from my Holly. “It’s true what’s said about learning from the past to live in the present, in order to have a great future. It was a hard lesson at the time, but it all worked out in the end.”

  “That’s right, honey. Things happen for a reason. It’s not the things that happened to us in the past that define us, but how we use the knowledge from it and move forward. You’ve got this, sugar. It’s smooth sailing from here.” Her voice trails off.

  The wisdom in her words resounds inside my heart. There’s no truer statement. “I never caught your name?” I glance back at an empty space. Where’d she run off to this time?

  Surveying the crowd, I search for the elderly woman to no avail.

  “Who was that?” Grayson’s voice stirs me from my search.

  “What?”

  “Who was that you were just talking to? Man, she looked awfully familiar to me.”

  “Just an old woman whom I’ve run into from time to time. I never caught her name.”

  “She looked just like my… nah. It couldn’t have been her, though. Never mind.”

  Grayson appears shaken up, and I don’t understand his meaning.

  “What are you talking about, Grayson?”

  His lips quirk up and he replies, “Tis the season for Christmas miracles. I just thought, maybe.”

  “I’m not following, Grayson. In English, please.”

  He pulls out an old photo from his wallet and hands it to me. As I look at
the woman in the photograph, I’m shocked by the face that stares lovingly at me.

  “Who is this? It looks just like the woman…” I can’t finish my thought because it’s just too unbelievable to be true.

  “That is my grandmother, Matilda Blackwood.”

  “But I know she’s been dead for years. Ella told me that much. Maybe she has a twin no one knew about?” I chuckle from the newest revelation of this crazy situation.

  “Could be. Or it could be grandma is at it again. Even up in heaven she’s in the thick of things. She never was one to let things go.”

  “A Christmas miracle, huh?”

  “Well, I guess we’ll never know. Merry Christmas, Michael.” Grayson pats me on the shoulder and turns to walk away.

  “You too, Grayson.”

  Damn. I can’t even be mad at him anymore. I’m thankful he did what he did, because I wouldn’t have the life I have today if it weren’t for him coming back into Ella’s life and taking her away from me.

  Thinking back to the mysterious encounters with the older lady, I was the only one to see her, so was Holly. Except this time. Could it be I was visited by the ghost of Matilda Blackwood? Was she stirring the pot like I’ve heard she was famous for, or was she guiding me to my best future? A guardian angel.

  I am convinced that Christmas is a magical time, no matter who you are. Gifts are given, and lives are changed during this most wonderful time of the year. I, for one, have been reworked by the beauty of the season. Believe it or not, ‘tis the season of love.

  This is my life, and I will cherish it forever.

  The End.

  A Scrooged Christmas Stories