Lukas (This is Our Life Series Book 4) Read online

  I was engaged in Operation Fly-By aka snooping around Ollie’s office door trying to overhear what Lukas was doing on the other side, when the door flew open and I landed in Lukas’ strong, muscular arms. I inhaled his unique scent and instantly, I was floating high as a kite. Heavenly.

  Then, he up and ruins my moment and goes all caveman on me! Serious, determined Lukas is no fun. He wanted me to talk and shit. What the hell? My mind is so far past the word game, I want action. The kind of action that requires two naked, willing and able bodies. Instead I get drill sergeant Lukas.

  “I don’t think so, Lukas Rogers. You let go of me this instant. I don’t have to tell you anything, you big Hulkster!” I retaliate, and the next instance I'm sucked into Lukas' bubble.

  He moves swiftly for such a large man, and before I know what’s what, I collide with the back of the closed office door, a tremor of anticipation breaking free from me. Playtime.

  “Lukas,” I softly whimper, desire flooding my senses.

  “Shh,” he murmurs with authority, silencing my resistance.

  The protective, over-bearing giant calls to the sensual woman in me.

  His demands are simple, honest. Yield and follow his lead. His body language urges me to let go of the secret doubts I cling to as a security blanket. He needs my touch to soothe an ache deep inside him to calm the restless giant.

  I resist at first. How dare he insist time and time again on an intimacy I’m not comfortable with? The stance I’ve made hasn’t changed. Doesn’t he understand I’m not capable? I’m broken. But he won’t be denied.

  He holds me as close as two individuals can possibly be, fusing our bodies together. I’m pinned to the wall, escape impossible. Capturing my lips, he plunges his tongue into my open mouth again. Oh, yes, Hulk. More. Spicy male floods my taste buds. I’m washed away from the reality of today, a flower petal rushing downstream during a summer rain. I brush against steely flesh and flick my tongue, craving more of him.

  How does he do it? Every time he touches me, I’m powerless to fight the desire to have him take me. My head might be screaming ‘Run!’, but my treacherous body is an entirely different story. It is melding into him, creating a unique shape designed by an all-consuming desire for more. With the flip of a switch I’m turned on by Lukas’ close proximity. Lost in him.

  Warm fingertips skim the side of my neck and wrap around my nape, positioning me where he wants me, angling for a deeper invasion. He’s in control, manipulating my foggy mind and flaccid body to his will. Resistance is futile. My mind is a blur, uncertainty vanished. I willingly give up to his authority and comply, no longer simply Sage, but a part of something bigger and more beautiful than I’ve ever known.

  The sound of a zipper vibrates off the walls, and I’m being lowered to my knees in front of him. The carpet padding cushions my gangly descent. Lukas’ swollen cock juts out from its strangled prison, glistening with his milky essence. My mouth waters at the sight. Using both hands, I wrap them around the root of his mammoth girth, the tips barely touching. It’s true what they say; large hands, large dick. Lukas is hung like a stallion, and he’s all mine to pleasure. I gaze up into the most intense, daring eyes.

  “Game time, Hulk? Truth or dare?” I boldly ask.

  The corner of his lips slightly rises up. Then he glances down where my hands are slowly moving up and down, priming his already hard-as-steel rod, then back at my pursed lips. I smirk. He wants to fuck my mouth, and he’s calling my bluff. Except for one thing he didn’t anticipate; I might not be physically able to take all of him, but I’ll damn well give it my best shot. Game on, honey buns.

  I want this more than the next intake of life-needed air. He doesn’t know what’s coming. Wetting my lips, I angle myself closer to his seeping member. I open my mouth wide, relax, and, without a warning, swallow his long, bulky cock, consuming as much of him as humanly possible.

  “Sage!” he thunders above me, simultaneously grabbing my hair and plunging his massive cock deeper into my mouth-watering hole. I suck hard and moan. I’ve missed him, missed the way he pounds in and out like this, taking his pleasure from me. His taste. My unrestrained Lukas is here. He’s been MIA since the attack in Afghanistan, holding back a part of himself. Welcome back, baby. You’re whole again.

  Finally! I won a game. I’ve done it, shattered his discipline into a million fragmented pieces. Made him forget the past and focus on feeling what I’m doing to him. He’s lost control, and I’m the one driving him crazy.

  “Fuck, Sage! You ready to take all of me?” he taunts, positioning me at a different angle. “You gonna swallow, babe? Everything I’m about to give you?”

  “Yes!” I loudly hum around his hammering cock with watering eyes. Tears escape down my cheek as sweat beads along his jaw. The combination of his filthy language and the rawness in the act has me drenched between my thighs. I play with my clitoris and rub them together, searching in agony for a small inkling of relief.

  “Put your hands on my thighs,” Lukas commands in a low-pitched tone that brokers no leniency. Dominant Lukas. He continues to stroke into my mouth, alternating quick short thrusts with deeper, stronger ones.

  I falter to comply. He’s asking too much. Trust isn’t something I take lightly; it’s intimate. Here we are again, a completed circle. He wants more and I’m reluctant to give it. A powerful surge causes me to gag, squeezing firmer around him. He slowly retracts until only the crown of his massive dick remains. There’s a question in his desire-filled gaze, and for a split second, I see vulnerability before it quickly vanishes with a blink and is replaced with a powerful, domineering facade. His grip tightens in my hair, patiently waiting for my obedience.

  I close my eyes, knowing if I concede, I’ll open the doorway for more to come. Pain and fear grip me. Fear, consciously being aware Lukas won’t back away from my gift; if I give it to him freely, he will own a part of my soul that I will never be able to get back. He will expect more and more from me, possibly an exclusive relationship. Am I ready to let go? Then there’s the pain. Pain at missing the chance of never intimately sharing not just my body but my soul and mind with him. Do I dare chance the repercussions, or do I live my life wondering what could have been?

  Hesitantly, I raise my hands and place them on his upper thighs. There’s no turning back now. A sigh of relief or pleasure, I’m not sure which, escapes him. Crown me, my worthy opponent. The games we play between us still exist for another day. He won this round by brandishing the key and unlocking another door I sealed off long ago.

  His pace picks up again. He levels me with those gorgeous, piercing eyes, and I’m immobile from a look. The relinquishing of power to him frees something deep inside, lifting a burden I hadn’t realized existed.

  I won’t remove my hands, turned on from the constant power he yields. Tremors wrack him. He gulps for air and dangerously growls. He’s so close I can feel him growing larger and filling my mouth with his pre-cum, readying for an atomic explosion. I’m so ready. I want to watch him soar. I want to memorize his face, knowing it’s me who caused him to let go. I am the reason he’s about to explode with ecstasy.

  I savor the musky scent and flavor penetrating my senses. I’m sucked into him. He’s using my body and emotions, a formidable and commanding king ruling his subject. My Dominant Lukas. I’m powerless. He thrusts long and hard, fucking me like a madman searching for his fix.

  “Fuck!” Lukas screams, hits the back of my throat, and goes still. At once, I’m flooded with his essence, gulping and choking, trying to consume every last drop he releases. I watch as the tension built from moments earlier ebbs from him and is replaced with sheer bliss. The moment is perfect. I tongue the slit, cleaning all the remains of his release.

  “Princess,” he softly mutters, pulling me away and up. I wobble slightly to the left, drunk on Lukas. He tucks himself back into his jeans and wraps his long arms around me, pulling me into him. Gently, he places kisses on the top of my head.
r />   “You belong with me. You and I both know it.”

  “Lukas…”

  “Hush, princess. I want to relish my victory…doesn’t happen often,” he chuckles.

  “I want—” before I can finish explaining I want him to take me upstairs so we can finish what we’ve started, he stoically interrupts.

  “We need to talk. There’s been a development.”

  The contentment and ease we intimately shared slinks away, skulking into the shadows of the vast room. Leaving a gaping hole in my weary heart. I try to step away but am yanked firmly back into him.

  “You’re not going anywhere, princess. Don’t try to run from me again. You’re where you belong—at my side. Just know. You run, I will find you.”

  “Is that a threat?”

  “No, little lady, that’s a promise. You can take it any way you want,” he says, gently touching the tip of my nose. He’s infatuated with my nose and my toes.

  “I’m a little unsure exactly how to process you sometimes. You say the strangest things. I don’t plan on going anywhere at the moment, because I’m spending time with Harper while Ollie and Fallyn are on their honeymoon.”

  “Aren’t they due back in a day or so?”

  “I think so. They weren’t sure if they would be able to catch a flight back into the States with a Trident team or have to go commercial. It might delay them a few days or so, if that turns out to be the case. I betcha they didn’t even think to ask Grandma. Her jet flies transatlantic. I’ll have to send Fallyn an email. It’s always best to have a backup plan, don’t you think?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “So, you mentioned a development?”

  “Come on, babe. Have a seat. I need to pick your brain.”

  “That sounds ominous, Lukas.”

  “I’m working on a case, and something about it is puzzling me.”

  “Really? Oh, my God! You puzzled? Never gonna happen to the Incredible Hulk," I joke and laugh, especially when a spark of amusement surfaces on his handsome face. "Seriously, if I can help, I will. I’m not as tech savvy as you, not even close, and well, I don’t like crossword puzzles—no Tetris or Rubik’s cube for this gal. Give me a board game any day. I can play a mean game of Clue. I'm digressing again, sorry. Hit me.”

  Lukas busts out laughing, and before long it’s contagious. He’s so damn gorgeous. I want to crawl up into his lap and let him hold me—forever. Where did that come from? Geez, before long, I’ll be acting like my crazy-ass sisters do. Falling all over and bending backwards for their men.

  “I forgot how funny you could be.” Lukas holds my hand, gently rubbing his thumb in a pattern. “Who knows, maybe you can help me clear up what's bothering me. Nothing as serious as a rival game of who-done-Scarlet-in-the-ballroom-with-a-pipe kind of stuff. What made you decide to volunteer in the Peace Corp? You never told me the real reason.”

  “Hmm, the Peace Corp? Seems like a lifetime ago we were in Dubai. Things were so different between us." I pause, remembering the first time Lukas approached me.

  "I'll never forget that night, babe. My smoking-hot siren. The way those skin-tight jeans clung to your ass makes me hard again just thinking about it. Damn, and your lips were just around my dick."

  "You're always aroused, Lukas. That hasn't changed one bit."

  "Only around you. And you're always wet, aren't you, princess?"

  "Maybe," I tease him, because honestly right now, I'm drenched with need for him. "So, I, uh, told you a little about my time there when we first met, do you remember?"

  "Bits and pieces, but you never elaborated. Why's that?"

  "Not sure. Guess it wasn't important at the time." I shrug, uneasy where he is headed. "Some things are best left in the past. You're very aware of that, aren't you, Lukas?" I snap back, not thinking.

  "A moment of weakness, doc." He nods, acknowledging me with a sad expression.

  "Sorry. I didn't mean to drudge up that night. It's in the past. Let's leave it there. 'Kay?"

  "Yeah. I agree. Not one of my proud moments."

  "Yeah. I'm just glad I was there for you, Lukas. That's all that matters to me. I've digressed again." I beam, amused with myself. "To answer you, I did it to pay off my student loans, well, kind of. Grandma paid everything because I wouldn’t touch my trust fund."

  "How come? It’s yours, right? Set up by Matilda?"

  "Yes, Grandma and Grandfather Blackwood. Everything comes with a price. Nothing's free when my dad's concerned. He wanted me to learn the value of a dollar, like he had."

  "He grew up with old money. I don't understand."

  "When things come easy, you don't value what you have. So, I made a promise to him before I understood what I was doing that until I turned twenty-five, it would remain in the bank, untouched."

  "Why would you agree to do that? Doesn't sound very smart, and you're an intelligent woman."

  "Like I said, he wanted to teach me a lesson about life. I didn't understand all the ins and outs before I agreed. Another lesson learned. Then Grandma offered to help. Should have known then she was up to something, but I was in over my head with student loans. She approached me about volunteering at a children's hospital in the Middle East. Basically manipulated me into believing volunteering overseas in the Peace Corp for a year would wipe them away and I could start fresh. Medical school isn’t cheap, especially when you don’t have a job. My bills were piling up. It was a no-brainer. Stop school or accept her interference. That's when she introduced me to General Foxx. He pulled a few strings, and before I knew it, I was packed and shipped out to Dubai for an internship. I’d only been there a little over nine months when I met you. I was so homesick. I missed my family and the comforts of home. I wanted to leave before I met you. Hell, I missed Coney Island hamburgers so bad. I wanted to say, ‘To hell with it all,’ but the thought of giving up didn't sit well with me.”

  “But you did, you left right after the ambush. Your time wasn't up. Why?"

  “It was time.”

  “Why did you leave me? I was in ICU for weeks before I realized you were gone.”

  “Things happened. Unexplainable things. I had my reasons. I needed to go,” I whisper, regret lacing my words.

  “Explain,” Lukas commands without pause.

  “I felt threatened.”

  “What the fuck do you mean?” Lukas says in a menacing tone.

  “It seemed like bad things welcomed me every step I took. The place I was staying in was vandalized. A stray dog. The little boy. Your ambush. God, Lukas. There were so many bad things over there, I just had to leave so it would stop. I wanted to make it go away.”

  “Hey, there, princess. It’s over. It was a long time ago. You’re safe and far away. Tell me about it. Keagan’s mom says it helps,” he says and pulls me into him.

  “And we all know she ranks up there with my grandma being right.” I inhale deep, comforted by Lukas’ familiar smell. “I met a local a month or so after arriving in Dubai. He asked me out to dinner. He seemed harmless at the time, so I agreed.”

  “Name?” he asks.

  “Malik. I didn’t get his last name. Another lesson learned. Anyways, after the first date, he wanted to take me out again. Something was off. Just didn’t feel right, so I started making excuses. You know—too busy at work, tired, the usual stuff, but he didn’t get the hint. If anything, he became more tenacious in his pursuit. He showed up everywhere I went. If I went to the cafe—he happened to be there; out to lunch with a colleague—I bumped into him; and the last time he bumped into me, I was walking out of the rehabilitation center with a patient. That was when I knew something really bad was wrong.”

  “Don’t stop. Keep going, doc. Get it all out of your system. How did you know?”

  “The child was brutally murdered the following day.”

  “Damn.”

  “It was soon after I met you. I was devastated. He was only a child—thirteen years old, so young. I had designed and fitted him with a prostheti
c leg. He had lost his limb when a land mine exploded in a field where several children were playing. He was closest—scarred pretty bad, but he never mentioned it. Just a positive, happy boy. I helped him train his brain to walk and encouraged him not to give up. We became friends. He was able to run around and do what children do.” I choke, remembering Isaiah’s first steps and the joy that formed on his innocent face.

  “As horrible as it sounds, things like that happen all the time over there. You can’t control war, and it’s been going on for eons and eons. You didn’t cause it.”

  “You’re wrong. I’m the reason. It was my fault and so many other lives have been affected. When I heard about you and your team—I couldn’t stay any longer. I’m so sorry, Lukas. I had to go home,” I confess, choking back the need to cry. Crying doesn’t solve anything. I’ve been down that road.

  He leans in and gently kisses me. Sweet Lukas. All the bad memories fade back to the past, where they belong. Lukas soothes the demons creeping up, helping me shut the door on the awful time. I lose myself in him.

  I’m calm and a little freer, like sunshine peeking through the clouds on a rainy day.

  “You know. I believe Keagan’s mom is onto something,” I ponder.

  “What’s that, babe?”

  “Talking really helped,” I confess.

  “Good to know. Happy to help a damsel in distress,” he chuckles, lightening the mood even more.

  I lean up against his chest and sigh, accepting the much-welcomed comfort. Thankful for the big hulk’s perseverance and determination. He hasn’t changed even with the loss of his leg. He could have become a bitter, hateful man; instead, he’s still the fun-loving guy I met in Dubai. The one I fell hard and didn’t accept my feelings for. I didn’t stop to give the time of day when things got bad.